That first little word.
It can be so hard to write that first little word.
Have you ever had a catastrophe in your life and you look at the devastation around you and wonder where do you start to clean up the mess? Then as you are working wonder where the transition takes place from cleaning up the mess to starting to rebuild something new? That is where I have been for the last year. Except my catastrophe was not strewn bricks and mortar or piles of burning embers. It was a 24-year marriage that ended in shambles. It has been hard since then to write that first word to begin blogging again. First, some history…
February 6th of 2012 our family stood to gaze with a feeling of shock and numbness at a smouldering pile of what had just the day before been our 7000 square foot stone home. I remember the mixed feelings of immense loss mingled with a sense of peace in starting over from scratch. We had nothing but the night clothes on our backs and bare feet that we had escaped with from our burning home the night before.
We met that same morning with a representative of the American Red Cross who gave us gift cards to get basic things that we needed for our family of 8. When I realized that I didn’t even have a paperclip to keep the papers they gave us organized I felt so empty and all the more thankful for their help. Later that day when we stopped at a gas station I got out of my car and looked down finding a shiny new paperclip. It was a little thing that I would have previously trampled under my feet. This little thing became a treasure and a symbol of God’s provision. That one little thing was the start of our rebuilding. We did not know where to begin to get the things we needed but God knew. Over the days, weeks and months ahead He provided in ways too numerous to explain. Remembering those experiences I can say that the blessings that came into our lives because of that fire far outweighed the tragedy.
That one little paperclip is like that one little word that I needed to begin to rekindle my passion for writing and to rebuild my blog again. For any of my readers who have been through a divorce, you know that feeling of not knowing where to start, what to do, or how to wade through the destruction of the relationship and start over from scratch.
Some people have fires that leave behind some salvageable belongings. But those things will always be marred by the heat and smoke. My children came through the fire of our toxic marriage but they will forever be changed by it. I am thankful that they made it out alive the night our home was engulfed in flames just as I am glad that they have made it through our divorce. Dr Phil has said, “Children would rather be from a broken home than living in one”. I would dare to say that every one of my 7 children would agree wholeheartedly with that quote as would many other children in this world full of broken homes.
There were a handful of tools that we found after the fire that the boys and their father tried to salvage. They cleaned them up, soaked them in oil and put them with their other tools but they said that many times when they would try to use them they would break very easily. The heat from the fire was so intense that it even melted a solid metal spool from the middle of a heavy equipment wench. One thing that gives me encouragement is that the heat from our dysfunctional (that is putting it mildly) home has not destroyed or weakened my children because they are not made like steel or iron. Each one of them has a heart of gold and when gold is put in a furnace it is refined. See below the many promises that God gives us through his word that he uses the fire to refine us through the trials so that we can shine all the brighter for his glory. Does this mean that we should keep a family together when there is abuse or constant contention because it will help refine our children? Heaven forbid. Even gold can burn away when the heat applied is too hot.
So going forward I will also write about how we are moving forward FEARLESSLY from the destruction and hopefully, we will shine like gold TREASURES. If you take a gold ring and melt it down it can be formed into something new and that is exactly what God is doing in me and in my children. We are bulldozing the rubble of the destruction of our family as it used to be but looking forward to the future that God has planned for us all.
If you have been through a divorce and/or if you have children from your broken home I would love to hear from you. We need to encourage and support one another through the process. Comment, like and share.
The Treasure Chest
Zechariah 13:9 – And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It [is] my people: and they shall say, The LORD [is] my God.
1 Peter 1:7 – That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
Isaiah 48:10 – Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.
Malachi 3:1-18 – Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the LORD of hosts. (Read More…)
1 Peter 5:10 – But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle [you].
Job 23:10 – But he knoweth the way that I take: [when] he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
Proverbs 17:3 – The fining pot [is] for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the LORD trieth the hearts.
1 Peter 1:6 – Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.
Psalms 66:10 – For thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried.